Say What?

Traveling to New Zealand and sampling some of the native foods might leave you with the collywobbles, causing you to chunder but hopefully you will not cark it.  If you heard someone say that on a trip to New Zealand, would you believe English is the official language in New Zealand? It’s true.

Every culture uses its own terminology to express themselves. Travelers to New Zealand may find the following list of expressions helpful for a journey down under.

If you get invited to an after match, do accept. An after match is a social gathering that follows a rugby game. If someone asks you to keep your eye on their anklebiter, relax – it just means there are toddlers around.

If someone should offer you big bickies, do not hesitate. It is lots of money. Should someone say you were bog-standard, they think you are normal or average.

Should someone invite you to a bun-fight, don’t worry about donning protective gear, you will be going to a social gathering where there will be food. Make sure you don’t get cheeky with the hostess. No one likes a sassy guest.

If someone is chuffed to make your acquaintance, it means they are pleased to meet you. If they say you are dodgy, they think you are a questionable person. If you are asked to play draughts, sit down and enjoy a nice game of checkers. If you have to take a bathroom break, just ask for the dunny, which should not to be confused with a dummy, a baby’s pacifier.

If you are thirsty, ask for a fizzy. They will bring you a soda. Ask for a flannel, you will get a washcloth. If you plan on staying for two weeks, let them know you will be there for a fortnight.

If someone tells you something you just can’t believe, exclaim “get off the grass!”. If you want to congratulate someone, say “Good on ya, mate!”.

If the weather is warm, you can cool off with an ice block (popsicle). While taking a ride, slow down for the judder bar (speed bump) before you get on the motorway (freeway).

Celebrate your time in New Zealand but don’t get off yer face at a piss-up. Getting drunk at a party with alcohol can leave you knackered. You don’t want to be exhausted on your trip down under.

If you are involved in a ding (fender-bender), take your car to the panel beater (auto body shop) to have the prangs (dents) repaired. If you were scratched up in the accident, put sticking plaster (band-aids) on your cuts.

For those who have ever used Timbuktu as a fictitious place of reference, New Zealander’s can top it. A Kiwi (New Zealander) who needs to stress the remotest of locations will tell you all about Waikikamukau, pronounced “Why kick a moo cow”.  Both locations are certainly out-of-the-way places or as the New Zealander’s say - wop-wops.

When leaving New Zealand, be sure to say ta (thanks) or cheers (goodbye and thanks) or even Toodle Pip. And don’t forget, it’s your shout (your turn to buy the round of drinks).